What About Unanswered Prayers?

There are two subjects that are really close to my heart that I have noticed change over time with me, one is the aspect of prayer and the other is understanding my authority in Jesus Christ. We all come in the faith and mostly learn by what we observe or find as the common trend or what is acceptable, you do what you have found has been done and by that I don’t mean what you find is wrong but you do it without having much understanding. There were a number of things I had challenges with because I knew it was expected but I wasn’t just getting it; however, prayer and spiritual warfare are my focus today.

As someone new in the faith I knew I was supposed to pray I knew I am supposed to do this and that but that started becoming a challenge along the way because I was not doing it as much as I found others doing it. One aspect about prayer is that I would try to pray like everyone does and I would beat myself down because of not living up to what I thought was a standard. Most of the time I would find myself pushing so hard because I thought what I was doing was not enough. I did what everyone else was doing but still it wasn’t reaching what I believed was the standard.

I came into the faith and there were these power dynamics I couldn’t understand, in terms of light versus darkness so I was scared to pray over certain things, I can’t be in warfare like this because these things might attack me and there was limitation on what I can pray for. Even when I prayed for protection, maybe when I was travelling it was more inspired by fear than faith. It was more inspired by the awareness of darkness than the awareness of light.

If I am in a meeting and I am told to lead a meeting I am going to try to pray according to the standard that is set there. I won’t pray authentically but I will try to pray at a tone and pray as long as the other people leading did. For me this was not authentic because I was basically doing what everyone else was doing. There are people who can pray like that and it is ok but for me it wasn’t working. When I walk into a meeting and find people praying, I must not try to pray the way everyone is praying, I should just pray.

Over time I have started learning that there is the aspect of relationship in prayer that is so vital which brings in the importance of authenticity that is so vital in prayer. As I navigate through my journey, what I am beginning to learn is the Importance of me being Ndashi and authentic before God is so important, where prayer is no longer just doing what I am doing because I am a Christian but because I am seeing my need. I am praying not because it is demanded of me but because I am seeing the need to pray. Of course prayer is a discipline as well. I don’t want to take anything from that but I am seeing my need too.

These days I literally say God is my sanity because I get how confused I feel, how irritable I get, how tense I feel even with things that shouldn’t be pressuring me when I am disconnected and I am not in fellowship with God. I am at a point where I am like you are literally my sanity because I go insane when I am not in fellowship with you. Prayer has taken a different and more refined meaning for me. It has changed from just me thinking I have to sweat or I have to scream and shout. Yes, those things have a place but it all comes to balance. It would be unspiritual of me if the holy spirit is prompting me to scream and I don’t, just it would be unspiritual of me if I think I am not praying unless I am screaming.

AUTHENTICITY

It is a relationship, you can’t build a relationship in the absence of honesty; I have to be honest with who I am, what I am feeling, share both my joy and pain with the one I love. Without authenticity and honesty, you can have religion but you can’t have a relationship. Authenticity is something that is helping me in building a relationship that I can enjoy with God. If I can go before him and just be me, be a son, be a lover then I am progressing.

Authenticity is what is moving me from a place of saying things because they are the right thing I think should be said to saying the things that I really want to tell God. Authenticity is what is making my Christianity become a relationship daily and not a religion I am subscribed to. The other way to understand the importance of authenticity is by answering the question, “would you love to date someone who faked it all the time?” Why then would we want to fake it all the time with God?

For me authenticity looks like this; if I don’t feel like praying but I know I need to pray, my authentic self will say, “God this is how I feel and I know you can help me so help me God, I know you can move my heart from a place where I am failing to pray to a place where I can pray”. I don’t just need to scream out words I need to scream out words that are in my heart. Authenticity is not complicated; all we need to understand is that authenticity simply means being real. There are moments we tell people to be real, if we know what we mean when we say this then we know what authenticity looks like.  

Prayer is not a place where I just go to scream and shout without even remembering what I was praying about. Prayer is discipline but it has to transcend discipline. John Piper says “we should not date God dutifully” where we just do it because it is duty, there has to be joy in dating. We need to reach a point that transcends duty and discipline where I am enjoying the fellowship, where I am not trying to hold myself to the standard of another man but really understanding how God is carrying me through. There is discipline there, the ancient boundaries are not to be moved, there is a place for prayer and fasting, there is a place for devotion and then there is a place for uniqueness in which I relate with God and above all there is authenticity in all this.

WHY PEOPLE FAIL TO PRAY AGAIN

I believe people don’t go back to the place of prayer for two reasons, disappointment and equating pain as effectiveness of prayer. There are moments when a friend or family member is maybe about to go into surgery or they are going through something super tough and you place that in prayer and you don’t get the expected results. How do you bounce back in prayer? I feel like disappointment has taken most of us out of prayer, because He didn’t answer. What makes me so sure he will answer this?

I have had my own struggles where you pray about something and it doesn’t happen. The issue about a friend about to go through surgery is something that happened to me some years ago. I remember we even created a WhatsApp group and we were praying and believing that God will come through and the surgery will not have to take place and see the hand of God work. It didn’t happen and I did feel hurt and disappointed but I am glad I talked it through with God and he gave me a new perspective.

I am not anticipating disappointment when I pray and when it happens it doesn’t mean God doesn’t answer prayers instead, I must go back and talk it through with him and he will give me perspective. It is not blind faith but trusting faith. Mostly it is because we don’t talk it through with God, there is nothing wrong about talking with God about our disappointments. God is not scared of our emotions; he can handle how we feel and what we think.

There are so many misconceptions that are attached to prayer, we are made to think how much pain we experience is equal to the effectiveness of our prayers. Maybe if I don’t kneel to the point where my knees ache or turn black then I am not praying enough. If I am not sweating then I am not praying enough. This is another aspect that stole the joy of prayer for me for a while. When we look at some of the heroes in our faith, we hear of stories of how some prayed and blood came out, others’ their prayer closets had holes because of their kneeling and we misinterpret that.

If ever I pray to a point where blood comes out of my nostrils it is not that blood that will make my prayer effective but rather my body responding to the intensity with which I’m seeking the Lord. The blood does not make my prayer any more or any less effective. One may study until their eyes begin to hurt, but that is not to say one has not studied until their eyes hurt. I am not to go into prayer looking for pain, though as I yield my body to the passions of my heart, pain may result. Thus, if my interpretation of prayer is that I have to get tired and feel pain all the time, I won’t be motivated to go back there. Yes, prayer can be tiring but prayer can be enjoyed too.

SPIRITUAL WARFARE

The real change happened when it came to understanding my authority in Jesus and my place in spiritual warfare when I read, “When Heaven Invades the Earth” by Bill Johnson. It really changed my perspective. There is a statement in the book that says “Jesus was fully man and fully God but he did what he did not as God but as man in right relationship with God.” Jesus set an example of what man can do, from that point I stopped being a spectator but a participant in what God is doing.

The other one was reading Matthew 28:18-20, Jesus making the statement “all authority in heaven and on earth has been given unto me” was mind blowing because if Jesus has been given all authority then the devil has none. That changed so much for me, it made me realise the enemy has nothing, he is working on deception. The enemy has no authority, literally nothing because ALL authority and power is given to Jesus, who I believe in. Authority is on my side.

As if not enough, the scripture that says even the least in the kingdom is greater than John the Baptist changed my perspective. This means even someone who just got born again today has authority greater than John and since the enemy has no authority that person too is greater than the enemy not by themselves but by their Lord Jesus. This made me stop praying from a place of fear because I realised the enemy has no authority; he has ability but he has no authority, even the least in the kingdom is greater than him.

I have learnt how it is for me to pray without ceasing because I am not thinking of prayer as a place or prayer as a tone but I am thinking of prayer as communication, so I can pray without ceasing now because I know if I am on a bus that five second prayer is something that comes to my mind where I find myself praying for the person next to me. 

THE BEST COMMUNICATOR

God is the best communicator of all time, and to be the best communicator you need to have the other person in mind and how best to communicate with them so they get it. Now God being the best Communicator there is, he obviously has me in mind like how does Ndashi get me when we have a conversation? What is the unique way of speaking to Ndashi? He knows the unique way of communicating to each individual.

God is the best communicator because he won’t use the method on Genesis that works best on Ndashi. I can give a practical example of how God speaks to me, by paying attention to my desires I hear God speak, usually I ask what is on my heart and I listen from that as I am paying attention to what is on my heart God draws me to a song, book, scripture or even a person sometimes to speak to my situation.

There are times when I am anticipating God to speak, I get a pen and begin to write with an inspiration from within. I would be hearing a voice that is internal but this is not the case for everyone because God speaks to us differently and that makes him the best communicator. Prayer is a discipline and a discipline is something you do even in the moments you don’t feel like doing it, it is something you do but doesn’t mean you will always feel like you want to do it. When I wake up today and feel like I don’t want to pray as a discipline I will still pray and when I begin to pray, I won’t pretend as if my heart wants to, I will still engage God in what I feel so he can help me because he is the best communicator.

Dear Reader, are you enjoying your relationship with God?

–Ndashi Kapembwa

Thank you very much for reading today’s episode! Relatable Monday is coming to an end. I am extremely grateful you decided to read today’s session. Don’t forget to share how today’s episode has resonated with you. I hope this session showed you we are all relatable. The second last episode will be released on 19th December, 2022.

Keep Being Awesome!

Why I left the Church (and why I came back)

This is a great read!

Writings by Nelly

I know the title must be puzzling a lot of people reading this but yes, I did at one time leave the Church and by Church, I do not mean the building or the church I attend(ed) [even though I did leave both the aforementioned]; I mean the Body of Christ – Christianity. Yes, for close to 3.5 years in the almost 3 decades of my being alive, I did not consider myself a Christian.

What happened? How did I reach that place?

The charge that can be laid at my feet for that is the one that the Apostle Paul laid to the Galatians in this question,

How foolish can you be? After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your human effort?
Galatians 3:3 (NLT)

Put another way, I got hooked on trying to please God by my works…

View original post 1,433 more words

WE’RE ALL RELATABLE

Throughout my Christian journey, I use to think my struggles are unique to me and on most occasions, I would think I was the only one struggling. I would look around and see everyone seemed to be doing fine with their Christian journey and would convince myself I was the only one struggling. Everyone seemed happy, everyone seemed sinless and everyone seemed like they had it all together.

However, when I decided to be open and vulnerable I started learning every one of us was going through something. Unfortunately, the enemy isolated each and everyone of us and made us believe we are the only ones struggling and we are alone. 

I have now come to realize that we are extremely relatable as a species. Even science shows that based on an examination of our DNA, any two human beings are 99.9 percent identical. The genetic differences between different groups of human beings are similarly minute by only 0.1%. 

Relatable Monday became this community that made us realize this. I thank God he used me to reveal this to his children. What other way is better to end Relatable Monday than hearing from the community? Today’s episodes will be testimonies from the community. 

When Relatable Monday started in 2020 during the COVID lockdown, from the first episode I knew I had found a community of people who were real. Before Relatable Monday I had the pressure of measuring up to an unrealistic standard I had set for myself. I left no room for mistakes and would beat myself up every time I would fail to achieve this idea, especially with Christian virtues. 

Before Relatable Monday I was not open to the idea of being extra frank with God. I was fine with pretending even in prayer, I was fine with not asking tough questions to God. This platform has helped transform my understanding of just how personal my walk with God really is and just how He is able to accommodate all of me. A huge takeaway from Relatable Monday is that the things that we Christians go through are not so unique to us alone. Otherwise, we would be doomed because these things would not have solutions. But platforms like this have shown me that we are in these things together. 

The element of relatable makes the burden lighter, because I know I’m not the only one who goes through such things or has such thoughts or harbors such questions. The Bible says we have a high priest, who is Jesus Christ, who is able to relate to our suffering so we can go to him for Mercy and Grace. I’ve come to believe if Jesus didn’t come to live here on the earth, the gospel wouldn’t have been relatable! We all like to gravitate to places where we feel we are understood. 

So God himself had to be relatable, otherwise, He would just have been a spirit that man for thousands of years has failed to understand. I thank God for the blessing Relatable Monday has been. God bless🙏!

-Darlington

I’ve known you for a few years now and one thing I have come to appreciate about you is your ability to be raw and open about what you’re struggling with. In a recent conversation we had I mentioned how looking up to certain individuals actually brought more pressure on me than inspiration. That’s not been the case with you. The reason I’m able to show myself grace sometimes has a lot to do with how you’ve impacted me. Every conversation, and every sermon it’s been very helpful to me.

I know how you’ve mentioned that a lot of people get disappointed when they get to meet the real you because you feel they have high expectations, but it’s been a different story for me and I’m grateful for the impact you’ve had on my life.

After you lost your mum last year, you lost a part of yourself and you just weren’t the same person. I saw you slipping through the cracks and I did the only thing I knew I could, which was to pray. When you announced that relatable Monday was coming to an end, I got on my knees and asked that God would work everything out for your good. I prayed that he would make you bounce back stronger than ever before. 

That he wouldn’t just let you give up, that he would keep you going. And looking at you now, I can’t but praise God for your life.  I may not understand the impact of grief on a person but your story is a testimony that would definitely help someone in a similar situation believe that there is a God out there.

-Anonymous

It is often very encouraging to read that you are not alone, especially when you fall and feel like you are not worth picking up. Some of the shared experiences are quite related, literally, while others are informative of what may come one’s way and how to overcome and if overcoming doesn’t happen, how to get back up in Christ. At times, the lessons we need are not compiled in books but in people’s lives.

–Anonymous

This is not a testimony but a confession. I am terrified of leadership, the fact that I get to be vulnerable and let people see my flaws is scary. “so please help me, God!”

-Anonymous 

I have had so many encounters and can relate to almost every episode. I have learned so much about being a Christian, who is joyful when it comes to worshipping God. It’s not easy but I try to be the best version of myself, who God wants me to be. I used to hide my faith in the name of  “embarrassment”. Time and again with every episode I am reminded of God’s mercies. I love the person I have become.

-Violet

I grew up in a home where abuse was the order of the day. Both physical and emotional abuse. I do not want my life to turn out the same way. This really makes me afraid because well, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.

I’ve been approached by the worst kind of people. People that make you feel very bad for saying no to them. These are people with whom you allowed yourself to be vulnerable. And when things came down to feelings, you say no or you need more time and they make you feel all sorts of terrible and garbage.

Having to see these things happen sometimes makes me wonder why God would allow me to meet such people despite knowing how much abuse I’m trying to avoid. What I forget to notice is how God protects me from becoming what I pray against. Because somehow he reveals who these people really are! From all this, I’m okay knowing I’m capable of opening up to someone. 

What’s better is that even if I meet more but I also know whose watchful eye is ever cast on me. It will not stray or dose off. My prayer is that I too do not end up becoming what I pray against to someone else.

To everyone out there hoping for a better life; God is answering your prayers human by human, step by step, and day by day.

-Anonymous 

I don’t have a relationship with God. I know and believe within myself that He exists and I’m nothing without him. But I’m constantly letting him down. And I’m honestly tired of letting God down. I don’t know how to go back. Not even what I’d say if I went back to Him for fear that the minute I said Amen, I’d be back to the business of letting Him down. 

I’m a person who’s lived my whole life pushing people away. Not because I think I can easily replace them but because I’m scared they’d walk out on me first or for fear of being labeled ‘overly-trusting’  or I don’t know. I don’t fully understand why I can’t connect with other people. 

This is a question I ask myself everyday 🥺 

Why can’t I connect with other people? What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I let people in? I really feel alone. I disconnect from everyone yet deep down I’m longing for someone or people to see me and see my need. I really do feel alone.  And I wish I could go back to God but remember, I’m constantly letting Him down. That already makes me far away from Jesus. Because I’m not at peace with both God and man🥺. Is there still hope for me? (YES THERE IS-from Genesis with love) 

Despite all this, I’ve come to learn one thing; To take each day as it comes. One time I saw something on a churchmate’s status saying we cannot escape God’s grace. I’m a product of grace. I may not have the best life going but it’s mine and I should aim to keep it. I don’t know if I’ll ever find friends (I PRAY YOU DO-from Genesis with love). I Don’t know if I’ll ever learn to connect but God does.

My heart’s still beating. There’s hope. I’m not alone♥️ I’m not alone. I’m not alone🙏 (YES YOU ARE NOT– from Genesis with love)

-Anonymous 

Thank you very much for allowing me into your hearts and homes. I can’t honestly believe this is the last episode. Thank you for all the support that made this successful. I am extremely humbled that God used me to spearhead the impact this platform has had on so many live me inclusive. I found a safe space where I could share my story without the fear of looking like I have little faith. There were episodes that made me cry while I typed them and helped me release so much that I had kept in me for so long. Relatable Monday created an NGO that is now sponsoring vulnerable children in different communities.

Thank you very much and one thing for sure is that “WE’RE ALL RELATABLE.”

TRUST ME I’M TRYING

There’s a story in the book of Luke chapter 10 where Jesus enters the house of Mary and Martha. Mary is sitting at his feet and listening to Jesus while Martha is running around doing all the stuff preparing something for the guest. Martha actually gets angry and tells Jesus can’t you tell Mary to help me? I am doing all this all by myself. Then Jesus answers: Martha! Martha! You’re anxious and troubled about many things but one thing is necessary and Mary has chosen a good portion which will not be taken away from her. When I  hear this reply from Jesus I’m like gosh, I have been a Martha the last two years. I have been weary, angry, inpatient, tired, exhausted, bitter and broken because I have been toiling like Martha.

In 2021 on the 1st of January around 18:30 CAT my mother was in a critical condition at the hospital. I went outside the hospital to have a personal moment with God. I was failing to put myself together, tears were uncontrollably failing from my eyes. When I reached outside the gate I only had one request for God, “Please save my Mother.” I have never been that vulnerable before God with so much faith he will come through. Unfortunately, the next day she died. I was extremely shattered and totally disappointed with God. I have never felt left alone before. They say sometimes you have to see with your heart, but what do you do when your heart is shattered, your faith is lost and your eyes are telling you “You have been disappointed?” 

After this incident my relationship with God has never been the same. I was scared to trust him recklessly as before because I was scared what if his plan will be against my prayer request? I was failing to pray because It is not easy to go back in your prayer closet when last time you were there you walked away in disappointment. What makes you so sure that this time your prayers will be answered as you wish? What even gives you the courage to bounce back when you are broken into pieces?

I once heard a movie character say “when you lose someone who is very precious to you, there’s a part of you inside that dies too and no matter what that part can never resurrect because it depended on that person.” The last two years I have felt that. I have agreed with the brutal truth that I am not the same person as I was before my mother died. A lot changed with those seconds I heard that news. However, it is quite hard navigating through life when the world demands that part of you that died in that moment.

Thank you very much to all my friends who showed up for my Mother’s funeral, Y’all made this day much more bearable

LEADERSHIP

In the midst of all this uncertainty, chaos and brokenness I ended up in places of leadership like never before in my life. Everything happened so fast I found myself leading so many groups, filled with so many personalities, individuals and views. Leadership is vulnerability. It exposes you, every day you have to meet your flaws and consciously decide to humble yourself and learn better or keep pride and watch everything crumble around you. 

Leadership gives you an opportunity to meet all your flaws, all your shortcomings everyday in 3D. It allows you to see how fragile you can be at times and how uneasy certain situations will make you feel. It gives an opportunity to people who were once inspired by you to meet you at your breaking point and leaves you naked covered in your flaws, failures and shortcomings for them to see. It actually suffocates you to some extent.

You will be thinking you have the fruits of the spirit until you’re placed in a leadership position and you are there having to prove patience, love and joy by modelling them. You will be thinking you have joy until people and circumstances bring you to the end of yourself and now you’re striking the rock of Christ twice. You will be thinking you have patience until the vulnerability that comes with leadership vividly shows you how inpatient you can be. 

To be honest there times I have asked myself would I be happy to serve under my administration? Am I one of the administrations I would call out for creating a toxic work environment? Is my leadership style by any chance imitating Christ? Leaders are called to a different standard and scripture mentions how leaders will be judged to a high standard and that doesn’t help in any way because I feel like sometimes I am so focused on seeing the result that I lose myself and everyone I am leading in the process. “We have the results but was it worth it?”

This is the wonderful team at Lead Me Back Foundation during the first ever 2022 STEM Festival in Zambia

FRIENDSHIP

For the longest time I didn’t understand what friends should be, actually I haven’t fully understood because I think friendship is complex and each is unique so I am still trying to. I am just in a better position than before.

I could bring in everyone and be everything and nothing at the same time and I wasn’t a good friend at all. I started realizing that when you become friends with people, they actually have expectations and when communicated with you as a friend you have an obligation to try and find a middle ground to meet the others’ expectations.

Unfortunately, allowing everyone in makes it hard for me to first communicate my expectations or even listen to what my friends are trying to communicate. Expectations that are not communicated always yield into frustration and I have constantly found myself frustrated with my friends and my friends frustrated with me.

When we look at the Oxford dictionary of friend it states  “a person with whom one has a bond of mutual affection, typically one exclusive of sexual or family relations.” The word there is mutual affection, Mutuality is built over time and it doesn’t just happen. Mutuality also doesn’t mean everyone comes in and we sort this out as we go on, and that’s something I perform terribly at. It has been really hard for me to navigate friendship because I can be a lot and my opinion will be heard. However, at times this makes me feel so bad. 

I find myself constantly failing my friends, even those who labored so much to make our friendship work. My friend Niza in one of her podcasts mentioned how friendship should be safety and home and likened it to that childhood run from the bathroom to the bedroom naked without any judgement, but filled with correction. I have constantly asked myself the kind of friendships I am building with people. Is it that safe of a space that one can run naked in from the bathroom to the bedroom?  

I have constantly reminded myself that life is a lot and sometimes people just want to rest and if I am to create friendship with them I need to try to at least most of the time to be that resting space and not the “Life is a lot space.” 

When I search throughout scripture one thing that stands out for me is how God defines friendship and how he mentions we can’t claim to love him who is in heaven when we can’t even love the people next to us who we can see. I just feel like I am constantly failing. I sometimes see the bar too high and to be honest sometimes it is suffocating and I just tend to give up on everything. 

sorrow and celebration can coexist together in a heart quite authentically. We don’t have to pick one or the other. We can simply have both

TRUST ME I’M TRYING

I really wish I could say in this episode that I have now mastered the art of friendship and leadership. I wish I could tell you that I have fully overcome grief and I have no fear of disappointment when I pray and end like most stories end. If I did I would be lying to you. Truthfully I am still a work in progress but I will share with you the progress I have made. 

When it comes to friendship I have been learning that friends come for different reasons and seasons. I am learning to identify the reason for each friendship and the season God has assigned to it. I am starting to pay attention to which friendship is for what reason and what season. Because all along I would cluster everyone in the same box and expect something from someone who God never built for that reason or season and I would get frustrated. The same is true vise versa. 

Niza once shared something fundamental about friendship in one of her podcasts through an illustration. She said friendship is like a five storey building. Each floor has different kinds of friends. There are friends you find on the ground floor. These are friends you can easily reach when life has hit you so hard you are weary and can’t manage to use the stairs or elevator to reach the 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th or 5th floor. These are friends that even scripture describes as they stick closer than a brother. There are friends on the 5th floor who I can reach out to once in a while and that’s fine. It doesn’t make them less of a good person, that’s just their season and reason in my life.

There are also friends who are simply extensions of the building that I can build for a season and then remove those extensions when they have served their purpose. The mistake I usually make is I want friends on the 5th floor to play the role of friends on the ground floor. Sometimes I treat friends on the ground floor like friends on the extensions simply because I have failed to identify the season and reason for each friendship around me. 

When it comes to grief and holding on tightly to God in prayer without any fear of disappointment I have allowed myself to take my healing process one step at a time. I don’t want to rush it because the next person is watching. I believe grief demands to be felt and it is okay to allow yourself to feel every part of it. 

There is no simple answer to grief but one thing I have come to learn and believe is that “God doesn’t waste anything, even the bad things.” There has been beauty in my pain as cliché as it may sound. My entire healing process has been nothing but a place of growth, learning how to trust even when it hurts and character development. I am hurt by what happened but I am glad how God is using my worst life experience to be my area of growth.

Leadership? I am trying to get there. Lol that is the progress I have made so far in that area. I can’t say much . If I can be honest I don’t have it all together as it seems from the outside. I constantly struggle, get frustrated, think I’m not doing a good job and sometimes beat myself up. However, it is still PROGRESS. The fact that I am able to see when I fail, that’s progress to me. 

In the midst of all the chaos and challenges God has illuminated his light in my life so well this year

HEART OF GOD

Just to be clear with you I never claimed to be perfect, I never claimed to be finished, I am far from done. Just to be clear I am a work in progress in the midst of my mess there is a heaping helping of hope. My growth will never cease. Everyday I am trying piece by piece and what is important is that He doesn’t get tired of how many times I fail. He is there cheering me up and that means I owe myself some grace everyday as I face life. 

I have started seeing the heart of God that it is not about work but about Grace. It is about giving him the power to step in, creating a space for him where he can lead my growth. It is about allowing His word to come to reality when He says “My power is made perfect, complete and powerful in your weaknesses.”

I may be down but I am not dead, I may be depleted but not defeated. I am not finished yet but I am far much better than I was when I just started. I am not dead, I am developing. I am a work in progress, not yet a fully finished building but a construction zone. By His grace everyday I am learning and I need to allow myself to take one day at a time.

To be honest we are all works in progress and accepting this fact is freeing on every level possible. We must learn to show ourselves more grace each and every day. We have never lived this life before and unfortunately that already puts us at a disadvantage and makes it inevitable that we are going to mess up. However, the Grace of God is sufficient to carry us all the way through despite our mess. He knows us and he still loves us. He knows when we rise and when we fall. When we come or go, He sees it all And still He knows us and loves Us. 

Today is a good day to make peace with the fact that sorrow and celebration can coexist together in a heart quite authentically. We don’t have to pick one or the other. We can simply have both. And giving ourselves permission to have both is freeing on every level.

“Just to be clear with you I am a work in Progress“

It is our light not our darkness that most frighten us

Thank you very much for reading this week’s episode of Relatable Monday. Please share in the comment section how today’s episode resonated with you. What was your take and how did you relate. If you have similar personal experiences share them and how you are growing from them.

On the 2nd of January, 2023 we will have our last episode. It will be a collection of testimonies from different people from the Relatable Monday Community. It will be the last episode of Relatable Monday and what other better way of ending Relatable Monday than hearing the stories on how it has impacted our lives? I will encourage you to share your testimony by filling in this FORM HERE.

RETURN OF RELATABLE MONDAY SEASON TWO

It has been almost two years since we started the journey of Relatable Monday Season 2. What a season! We had so many spin offs from this season. We had a special easter episode, we had chat rooms and the big one we had a whole foundation birthed from it. With mixed emotions I would love to share that Relatable Monday is officially coming to an end.

It was so hard for me to type those words but I believe God has served the purpose he had with Relatable Monday through all of us. Thank you very much for allowing me to be part of your Faith journey through Relatable Monday! I hope and pray we all realised we are actually more relatable than we can imagine.

To bring Relatable Monday to a close we will have three episodes, the first one on the 5th of December, 2022. The episodes will be coming out after two weeks. The first episode will be by a guest Mr. Ndashi Kapambwe. This episode is personal for me because it was written in 2020 and God used it to encourage me in my worst season in the last 2 years.

The Mandate To Re-Build

I still remember vividly the first night I released the first episode of Relatable Monday which was guided by the theme “Daily Devotional Struggles” I shared about my struggles with being consistent and disciplined when it comes to reading scripture and some of the techniques I have been using to remain disciplined.

Well, this year I faced the same struggles to an extent it became normal to an extent I would go for a week without having my daily devotions. Until last week when the Holy spirit rebuked me and reminded me why it is important that I daily feed on his word. It reminded me of Lysa Terkeust’s famous illustration on why it is important to read scripture.

“When you wake up in the morning your brain is like a dry sponge, whatever you decide to soak it in first will get the largest part of the sponge. As the day proceeds at some point life will squeeze your sponge and whatever is having the largest portion will determine what will come out most.”

Apart from failing to study scripture I was struggling with other aspects of my life and I felt like the walls of Jerusalem mentioned in Nehemiah chapter one I was in ruins. The Holy spirit directed me to start with the book of Nehemiah, so just like Nehemiah I would rebuild both my daily devotion routine and my other aspect of life I was struggling from, it was a mandate to REBUILD.

In a nutshell, I am starting a new segment here on my blog called “The Mandate to Rebuild” on this segment every Saturday I will be sharing the reoccurring theme or the highlight lesson of scripture from my daily devotions from that week. I am excited about this new journey as it will help me remain discipline and share some of the enlightenments from the Holy Spirit here on my blog. I am starting with the book of Nehemiah, I started yesterday, a chapter a day.

Feel free to join this is going to be exciting!

ANNOUNCEMENT

I am extremely excited to announce that I will be launching my NGO in 10 days. It is a break off from season two of Relatable Monday. The name of the organization is Lead Me Back Foundation named after the theme of Relatable Monday season two.

Lead Me Back Foundation is an organization that aims to restore hope, empower people and reach out to the underprivileged in our communities using education as the powerful weapon to reduce hunger, fight poverty, attain gender equality and good health and well being”

The launch will be on the 12th of September, 2021 live on Zoom. If you would love to attend the official Launch online fill in this request form here and the administrative secretariats will get back to you.

You are invited

Kind Regard.

Lost Along the Search: decoding purity

Hello WordPress,

I know it has been long but if you were following the Relatable Monday Chatrooms it’s not that long.

In our last Relatable Monday Chatroom we had a discussion on sexual purity it was raw but time couldn’t allow us to conclude. Therefore, we are having Relatable Monday Twitter Space Conversation on Sexual purity

The twitter space will be a three days series which will be guided by the theme “Lost along the search; Decoding Purity. If you have any question about sexual purity that you would like to be answered in the space twitter or a story to share anonymously use this link Here .

Follow on twitter to get a notification before the space begins Here

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Relatable Monday Chat-Rooms

What are Relatable Monday Chat-Rooms ?

This is still under season-2 more like a break off.
By definition a Chat-Room is; an area on the internet or other computer network where users can communicate, typically one dedicated to a particular topic.

These will be 1 hour virtual Chat-Rooms where individuals will learn, teach, communicate, have  conversations, listen, share their story and express themselves on topic we tend to shun away as people, especially believers despite these things hurting us when we are alone. They will be line safe, honesty spaces.

If you would want to host one of the Chat-Rooms, feel free to fill in this form all you need is your story on how Relatable Monday has impacted your life.

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1_7Q04iU9vTwfm7deggC6JcGHCIlfBBjVCN45er29L9o/edit

They will be around 20:30 for the next 3 Mondays, each Monday four people will host four chat rooms they will start by sharing a testimony, story or change of mind set on a particular topic through reading Relatable Monday. Then people in that Chat-Room will share their experience, ask questions, answer questions and be honest with each other.

Anyone can attend these chat rooms but to day so you need to register using this link, registering will help you get instruction directly on how you can attend these Chat-Rooms

If you know someone who follows Relatable Monday and I don’t have them on my contact please share this registration link to them. Thank you

https://docs.google.com/forms/d/1qvMe2qJzBXLF7zHL_el1qc00gojje8rMbjI-PEAnHMc/edit

IT’S ONE YEAR ALREADY

Last year today, I embarked on a journey that I was sure will create a community of honest, authentic and vulnerable before God believers; Relatable Monday. It has been the biggest project here on my blog and has connected Christians all over the globe to share about their struggles in hope of becoming better.

The support has been extremely overwhelming, the testimonies have been mind blowing and above all I have been ministered to mightily. To be honest, I knew Relatable Monday will be big but not this big. It has allowed be to appreciate how much God supports his work.

Thank you very much for welcoming me into your homes, what started as a blog post is now a community. Thank you for the support offered, we now even have merch everytime I see people in Shirts I’m grateful. Happy Anniversary y’all it’s been a great journey.

Happy Anniversary Y’all

FRUSTRATED FAITH

It was June, 2012 when my friend was diagnosed with a condition that only needed surgery to be healed. Even though surgery was the only option it wasn’t definite the surgery would guarantee healing or even be a successful surgery. My friend was so dear to my heart he was a brother and a mentor, he actually introduced me to Jesus and through his persistence I got born again and dedicated my life to Christ. I remember it was nothing but an abdominal pain that forced him to go to the hospital but when he called me, I could tell from the sound of his voice that he was crying. He informed me it was a fifty-fifty situation; the surgery could help or not. This is someone who left our room laughing and was full of life, but he was now living between life and death.

 I remember we even created a WhatsApp group and we were praying and believing that God will come through and the surgery will not have to take place and see the hand of God work. We could fast twice a week in the group and pray everyday trusting God to move. We had so much faith we were believing he will be healed without even the surgery taking place. Because of our faith we managed to make him stand on our faith and gave him hope again. Even before the day of surgery we prayed and trusted God our friend will get healed without it. On the day of surgery, we were told the condition is there and he will still need to go through surgery.

As heartbreaking as the news was, we still trusted God will make a way through the surgery. While the surgery was taking place, we were praying. Believing the surgery will be successful and our friend will be made whole again, especially we knew by his stripes we are healed. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen and I did feel hurt and disappointed. I lost my friend, I felt disappointed, we prayed, we fasted, we had faith and above all our friend was a strong Christian why did he die so young? Why didn’t God hear our prayers? How come we prayed so much from the word go, just for him to die? I was extremely angry I failed to pray again.

-NK

The academic year started rough but I had faith, everyone was complaining but I was opportunistic, I was careful with my confessions because I knew word have power. I remembered Genesis could often say “words are more than just a combination of the twenty-six alphabetical letters they transmit energy waves that have power to create or destroy.” This made me remain positive throughout even though that academic year looked impossible to go through. Doubt started coming in when we wrote our first test and I only managed to pass two courses. Trust me I was studying, I was praying, I had faith everything will turn out good but everyday that came just made everything look impossible.

When our continuous assessment results came out, I was broken, I was slowly losing my faith, I called my mentor and explained my situation, she encouraged me to trust in the lord and focus on my final exams since my continuous assessments have already being made. She told me to meditate on the scripture that says, “If my people who are called by my name will humbles themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” I took these words personal trusted in the lord wholly and studied even harder. Unfortunately, when the results came out, I failed.

There I was a Christian, who had faith in God, believed God will help me pass, studied so hard that my friends who were not even Christians who made it mocked me about my failure. I was frustrated. What will I even tell the people I preached to last year, how will the juniors even look at me? We are now in the same class these are the people I encouraged to have faith in God and just study hard because everything is in God’s control. How do you even face the world as a Christian who just failed an exam? How do you even pray to God after having so much faith, working so hard, remaining so faithful but still fail? To be honest I was frustrated and hurt to the core.

-HM

It is funny how I still remember that day so vividly like it just happened yesterday, it was July 22^nd, 2005 I was young but I knew what was going on my mum was sick for a month but that day it got worse, I was the only one with her because my grandma went out to sell things so we could buy medication for mum and put food on the table. My mum got worse she was in pain I could see it, but despite being in pain she started praying. It was like the more she prayed the worse she got. I was only 8 I didn’t even know how to pray, but I was so scared I will lose mum so I started praying too. I remember I asked God to heal my mum that night and I promised to serve him my whole life.

Fortunately, my grandma came back and she rushed mum to the hospital. We were living with my grandma because my dad died when I was two, I have never really had any memories with him. Apart from the pictures I don’t even know how he looks like. I remember we went with Grandma to the hospital and we kept praying. Asking God to heal my mum. We waited until the doctor came out and told us my mum had died. I didn’t know how to react because I was only eight but as I became a teenager every memory made more sense and I reacted then.

As I grew older, I became bitter with God, why did he allow mum and dad to die when I was still young, he couldn’t even answer the prayer of an innocent kid I was? I was only eight but I prayed so desperately so he could answer my prayer by healing my mum but he didn’t. The more I heard people say nothing is impossible with God the more I became bitter with him. If nothing is impossible with him then he had the power to heal my mum but why did he allow her to die? My grandma was becoming old and everything was getting worse, having food was a struggle, paying for school fees, having clothes or even school item was a struggle all this made me more bitter with God.

-JA

It’s even hard to share this struggle even with my close Christian friends because I am scared, I will be judged but this is something I have battled with since childhood, I have prayed, I have fasted but still the struggle persists. There moments that are so picky that you even see loud and clear that you are the only one struggling with this. Something you didn’t even decide to be, something that feels like it’s just in you alone everyone else is fine and the fact that even the Christian community, the only community you have grown in has classified that struggle as a struggle of its own and never willing to listen to you but immediately cancel you, makes it even more painful.

I struggle from same sex feelings but even before you act so shocked please hear me out, this is something I have struggled with from the time I passed puberty. I have rebuked it, I have prayed against it, I have fasted, I have done almost if not all things the bible recommends to do but still, I find myself struggling from the same issue. I fail to share this with anyone imagine you are just reading I am a stranger to you but still your reaction to this isn’t a safe space for me to open up most likely, I only managed to do this (featuring on this episode) because I am not even from Africa, there little or no chances you will ever know me.

I have prayed to God about this, I have undergone deliverance, I have fasted but still everything is still the same, this has made me frustrated and lost my faith anything will get better, I feel left alone by God, it is hard to say this but honestly, I feel disappointed with God, I am sometimes so bitter I cut myself. I have to fight this every day, despite consistently praying to God to take away this cup from me. It is hard to live each day knowing your struggle is different and many people who are part of your faith which happen to be your community are not willing to listen to you but will quickly cancel you and declare you demon possessed the moment you make mention of your struggles. As I earlier said they are hardships that are so personal, they will make it so clear to you, you are the only one going through this and honestly, I am tired.

-Carl

It was January 1^st, 2021 when my mum was transferred from a private hospital to a public hospital to get specialist treatment which the private hospital was lacking. I was scared the treatment will go wrong, I was scared this might be the end, honestly, I didn’t even want to think because the whole thought of imagining mum might actually die was unbearable. I remember I cried throughout the whole process that day. It was the first new year day that my family was not happy, or was at the hospital. The transfer was success, when we reached the public hospital, we were told to wait for the specialist to come. I failed to be in the waiting room the entire event was too traumatic I decided to go away take a walk perhaps when I come back, I will find the specialist had come and the treatment was successful.

Eventually, I left the waiting room took a walk outside the hospital but still the thoughts were getting worse especially this time I wasn’t there, it was getting dark so I stopped in front of the hospital gate and remembered Joseph Prince word, “In the middle of the storm make your requests known.” Immediately I started praying, I was praying and crying at the same time in my entire life I have never been that emotional before God, I cried like cry, cry, cry. I was making my request known to him that he could heal my mum. I told him I am not ready for anything else, it will ruin me, it will break me not just into pieces but into dust that cannot be mended. I spoke every healing scripture I know, I poured my heart, I literally left everything that was going on in my mind that day before God. Afterward, I felt better but the doubt was still there. I left went back to the hospital and I was informed the initial treatment was successful but the condition was still not good.

Fast forward, the next day early in the morning I went back to the hospital I went in spent few minutes there then went outside since the hospital could only permit one person inside because of the current pandemic. Outside I found my nephew who I started asking how school is going because last time we talked he was complaining about school. Just less that twenty minutes my mother died, when I heard the news I was shuttered. Initially I failed how to react the entire news was too much for me this was the first time I lost someone very dear to be. I felt disappointed by God I remember thinking mum was a Christian if ok God couldn’t answer my prayer for any reason why didn’t he do it for mum’s sake? I was broken, I was shuttered I didn’t share this with anyone throughout the funeral because most people assumed, I am a strong Christian I will respond the expected way. After the funeral nothing was the same, I was even failing to pray, like what do you even say in prayer after such an experience? I was neve the same person, that person died immediately I was told your mum has died.

-Genesis Mwamba

If you noticed from all the stories, we share in this episode there two thing we are trying to communicate, first we want you to live our hard experiences in three paragraphs and secondly, we are trying to project one recurring theme “How do you bounce back in prayer after disappointment?” How do you even trust again after all your trust is crushed into pieces? How do you even have faith again when your whole faith is shuttered in dust? There things that break us into pieces and at least we have hope that the broken pieces can be picked again, put in order and use glue to mend them or put them back together BUT their things that break us into dust and to be honest you can’t mend dust.

Their things that happen and make you realise you are not as strong as you thought you were, they leave you so shuttered you understand why so many people have decided to live the kind of life they are living. There so many things that begin to make sense all of a sudden, there certain things that you will never, ever understand until you experience it and one of them is the brokenness that comes with the disappointment after prayer,

The distance between our expectations and reality is called disappointment and navigating through this distance is hard. While you navigate through this distance you will be hurt and you will be required to be strong, people are going to understand you the first few days that at some point they will all expect you to be better and move on, that will require you to pretend which doesn’t help but make the whole situation harder. It is not easy to bounce back in prayer after a major disappointment for some people it even become impossible to believe there is God again. Because certain people will battle the thought if God exists why didn’t he answer the eight-year-old girl prayer, isn’t he a loving and merciful king?

LEAD ME BACK

It is not easy though, I wish I could tell you how I am doing extremely better now but I can’t because I would be lying, yes, I am better than I was when I felt disappointed but I still have days where I doubt, I still have days where I am broken and even fail to say anything before God but I am grateful I am surrounded by a great community of believers who helped understand that when I hurt God hurts too because he loves me that much. We live in a broken world and brokenness will always be here. God understands this very well, that’s why his love, kindness and mercy is unconditional

He understands as we navigate through this distance between reality and expectations that it won’t be easy, this is why he is right there with us step by step. This is why he made it so clear in his word that I will never leave you nor forsake you even up to the end of the earth. Sometimes, this might feel like a lie but that’s where faith comes in, we don’t live neither by sight nor by feelings but by faith.

It’s not easy to walk by faith because our flesh moves by sight but this is where being surrounded by a right community of believers comes in. Friends who will carry you with their faith when you don’t have any, friends who God will use to LEAD YOU BACK. Perhaps you have being reading and you’ve never felt disappointed` with God you can be that friend that rallies around those that are broken and shuttered.

Yes, there situations that break us not into pieces but into dust, but dust is one of the best starting point, you can’t glue dust but God can create using dust! Dust was the ingredient that God used to create human his greatest and favorite creation of all time. You are broken into dust, embrace it, it’s a point of new beginning. Even though what’s broken is too much and you feel nothing can replace it embrace the new beginning.

HOW DO YOU BOUNCE BACK IN PRAYER THEN?

I am not anticipating disappointment when I pray and when it happens it doesn’t mean God doesn’t answer prayers instead, I must go back and talk it through with him and believe he will give me perspective. It is not blind faith but trusting faith. Mostly it is because we don’t talk it through with God that we fail to pray again. We are usually scared to be honest with God, like dead, brutally honest with him. A relationship needs honesty to thrive we must be ready to tell God how we feel even if it sounds extra to us.

There is nothing wrong with talking through with God about our disappointments. God is not scared of our emotions; he can handle how we feel and what we think. God is not scared of our questions and we don’t shock God when we tell him how we feel. Talking it through with God has really been helping. I can now tell God how I feel each day even when I don’t feel like praying because I am scared, he might not give me what I want I tell him that.

Prayer is a discipline and a discipline is something you do even in the moments you don’t feel like doing it, it is something you do but doesn’t mean you will always feel like you want to do it. When I wake up today and feel like I don’t want to pray as a discipline I will still pray and when I begin to pray, I won’t pretend as if my heart wants to, I will still engage God in what I feel so he can help me because he is the best communicator.

HAPPY EASTER HOLIDAYS, HE HAS RISEN!

Thank you very much for reading but before you go, I wanted to inform you that we now have merch for Relatable Monday available only in Zambia, if you want to purchase please contact me on my WhatsApp on +260979208425 or send me an email here. The pictures below are some of the merch currently available.

K150 each

Long Sleeved k200 each

Thank you…. Be kind to one another