I know it has been long but if you were following the Relatable Monday Chatrooms it’s not that long.
In our last Relatable Monday Chatroom we had a discussion on sexual purity it was raw but time couldn’t allow us to conclude. Therefore, we are having Relatable Monday Twitter Space Conversation on Sexual purity
The twitter space will be a three days series which will be guided by the theme “Lost along the search; Decoding Purity. If you have any question about sexual purity that you would like to be answered in the space twitter or a story to share anonymously use this link Here .
Follow on twitter to get a notification before the space begins Here
This is still under season-2 more like a break off. By definition a Chat-Room is; an area on the internet or other computer network where users can communicate, typically one dedicated to a particular topic.
These will be 1 hour virtual Chat-Rooms where individuals will learn, teach, communicate, have conversations, listen, share their story and express themselves on topic we tend to shun away as people, especially believers despite these things hurting us when we are alone. They will be line safe, honesty spaces.
If you would want to host one of the Chat-Rooms, feel free to fill in this form all you need is your story on how Relatable Monday has impacted your life.
They will be around 20:30 for the next 3 Mondays, each Monday four people will host four chat rooms they will start by sharing a testimony, story or change of mind set on a particular topic through reading Relatable Monday. Then people in that Chat-Room will share their experience, ask questions, answer questions and be honest with each other.
Anyone can attend these chat rooms but to day so you need to register using this link, registering will help you get instruction directly on how you can attend these Chat-Rooms
If you know someone who follows Relatable Monday and I don’t have them on my contact please share this registration link to them. Thank you
Last year today, I embarked on a journey that I was sure will create a community of honest, authentic and vulnerable before God believers; Relatable Monday. It has been the biggest project here on my blog and has connected Christians all over the globe to share about their struggles in hope of becoming better.
The support has been extremely overwhelming, the testimonies have been mind blowing and above all I have been ministered to mightily. To be honest, I knew Relatable Monday will be big but not this big. It has allowed be to appreciate how much God supports his work.
Thank you very much for welcoming me into your homes, what started as a blog post is now a community. Thank you for the support offered, we now even have merch everytime I see people in Shirts I’m grateful. Happy Anniversary y’all it’s been a great journey.
It was June, 2012 when my friend was diagnosed with a condition that only needed surgery to be healed. Even though surgery was the only option it wasn’t definite the surgery would guarantee healing or even be a successful surgery. My friend was so dear to my heart he was a brother and a mentor, he actually introduced me to Jesus and through his persistence I got born again and dedicated my life to Christ. I remember it was nothing but an abdominal pain that forced him to go to the hospital but when he called me, I could tell from the sound of his voice that he was crying. He informed me it was a fifty-fifty situation; the surgery could help or not. This is someone who left our room laughing and was full of life, but he was now living between life and death.
I remember we even created a WhatsApp group and we were praying and believing that God will come through and the surgery will not have to take place and see the hand of God work. We could fast twice a week in the group and pray everyday trusting God to move. We had so much faith we were believing he will be healed without even the surgery taking place. Because of our faith we managed to make him stand on our faith and gave him hope again. Even before the day of surgery we prayed and trusted God our friend will get healed without it. On the day of surgery, we were told the condition is there and he will still need to go through surgery.
As heartbreaking as the news was, we still trusted God will make a way through the surgery. While the surgery was taking place, we were praying. Believing the surgery will be successful and our friend will be made whole again, especially we knew by his stripes we are healed. Unfortunately, it didn’t happen and I did feel hurt and disappointed. I lost my friend, I felt disappointed, we prayed, we fasted, we had faith and above all our friend was a strong Christian why did he die so young? Why didn’t God hear our prayers? How come we prayed so much from the word go, just for him to die? I was extremely angry I failed to pray again.
The academic year started rough but I had faith, everyone was complaining but I was opportunistic, I was careful with my confessions because I knew word have power. I remembered Genesis could often say “words are more than just a combination of the twenty-six alphabetical letters they transmit energy waves that have power to create or destroy.” This made me remain positive throughout even though that academic year looked impossible to go through. Doubt started coming in when we wrote our first test and I only managed to pass two courses. Trust me I was studying, I was praying, I had faith everything will turn out good but everyday that came just made everything look impossible.
When our continuous assessment results came out, I was broken, I was slowly losing my faith, I called my mentor and explained my situation, she encouraged me to trust in the lord and focus on my final exams since my continuous assessments have already being made. She told me to meditate on the scripture that says, “If my people who are called by my name will humbles themselves and pray and seek my face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.” I took these words personal trusted in the lord wholly and studied even harder. Unfortunately, when the results came out, I failed.
There I was a Christian, who had faith in God, believed God will help me pass, studied so hard that my friends who were not even Christians who made it mocked me about my failure. I was frustrated. What will I even tell the people I preached to last year, how will the juniors even look at me? We are now in the same class these are the people I encouraged to have faith in God and just study hard because everything is in God’s control. How do you even face the world as a Christian who just failed an exam? How do you even pray to God after having so much faith, working so hard, remaining so faithful but still fail? To be honest I was frustrated and hurt to the core.
It is funny how I still remember that day so vividly like it just happened yesterday, it was July 22nd, 2005 I was young but I knew what was going on my mum was sick for a month but that day it got worse, I was the only one with her because my grandma went out to sell things so we could buy medication for mum and put food on the table. My mum got worse she was in pain I could see it, but despite being in pain she started praying. It was like the more she prayed the worse she got. I was only 8 I didn’t even know how to pray, but I was so scared I will lose mum so I started praying too. I remember I asked God to heal my mum that night and I promised to serve him my whole life.
Fortunately, my grandma came back and she rushed mum to the hospital. We were living with my grandma because my dad died when I was two, I have never really had any memories with him. Apart from the pictures I don’t even know how he looks like. I remember we went with Grandma to the hospital and we kept praying. Asking God to heal my mum. We waited until the doctor came out and told us my mum had died. I didn’t know how to react because I was only eight but as I became a teenager every memory made more sense and I reacted then.
As I grew older, I became bitter with God, why did he allow mum and dad to die when I was still young, he couldn’t even answer the prayer of an innocent kid I was? I was only eight but I prayed so desperately so he could answer my prayer by healing my mum but he didn’t. The more I heard people say nothing is impossible with God the more I became bitter with him. If nothing is impossible with him then he had the power to heal my mum but why did he allow her to die? My grandma was becoming old and everything was getting worse, having food was a struggle, paying for school fees, having clothes or even school item was a struggle all this made me more bitter with God.
It’s even hard to share this struggle even with my close Christian friends because I am scared, I will be judged but this is something I have battled with since childhood, I have prayed, I have fasted but still the struggle persists. There moments that are so picky that you even see loud and clear that you are the only one struggling with this. Something you didn’t even decide to be, something that feels like it’s just in you alone everyone else is fine and the fact that even the Christian community, the only community you have grown in has classified that struggle as a struggle of its own and never willing to listen to you but immediately cancel you, makes it even more painful.
I struggle from same sex feelings but even before you act so shocked please hear me out, this is something I have struggled with from the time I passed puberty. I have rebuked it, I have prayed against it, I have fasted, I have done almost if not all things the bible recommends to do but still, I find myself struggling from the same issue. I fail to share this with anyone imagine you are just reading I am a stranger to you but still your reaction to this isn’t a safe space for me to open up most likely, I only managed to do this (featuring on this episode) because I am not even from Africa, there little or no chances you will ever know me.
I have prayed to God about this, I have undergone deliverance, I have fasted but still everything is still the same, this has made me frustrated and lost my faith anything will get better, I feel left alone by God, it is hard to say this but honestly, I feel disappointed with God, I am sometimes so bitter I cut myself. I have to fight this every day, despite consistently praying to God to take away this cup from me. It is hard to live each day knowing your struggle is different and many people who are part of your faith which happen to be your community are not willing to listen to you but will quickly cancel you and declare you demon possessed the moment you make mention of your struggles. As I earlier said they are hardships that are so personal, they will make it so clear to you, you are the only one going through this and honestly, I am tired.
It was January 1st, 2021 when my mum was transferred from a private hospital to a public hospital to get specialist treatment which the private hospital was lacking. I was scared the treatment will go wrong, I was scared this might be the end, honestly, I didn’t even want to think because the whole thought of imagining mum might actually die was unbearable. I remember I cried throughout the whole process that day. It was the first new year day that my family was not happy, or was at the hospital. The transfer was success, when we reached the public hospital, we were told to wait for the specialist to come. I failed to be in the waiting room the entire event was too traumatic I decided to go away take a walk perhaps when I come back, I will find the specialist had come and the treatment was successful.
Eventually, I left the waiting room took a walk outside the hospital but still the thoughts were getting worse especially this time I wasn’t there, it was getting dark so I stopped in front of the hospital gate and remembered Joseph Prince word, “In the middle of the storm make your requests known.” Immediately I started praying, I was praying and crying at the same time in my entire life I have never been that emotional before God, I cried like cry, cry, cry. I was making my request known to him that he could heal my mum. I told him I am not ready for anything else, it will ruin me, it will break me not just into pieces but into dust that cannot be mended. I spoke every healing scripture I know, I poured my heart, I literally left everything that was going on in my mind that day before God. Afterward, I felt better but the doubt was still there. I left went back to the hospital and I was informed the initial treatment was successful but the condition was still not good.
Fast forward, the next day early in the morning I went back to the hospital I went in spent few minutes there then went outside since the hospital could only permit one person inside because of the current pandemic. Outside I found my nephew who I started asking how school is going because last time we talked he was complaining about school. Just less that twenty minutes my mother died, when I heard the news I was shuttered. Initially I failed how to react the entire news was too much for me this was the first time I lost someone very dear to be. I felt disappointed by God I remember thinking mum was a Christian if ok God couldn’t answer my prayer for any reason why didn’t he do it for mum’s sake? I was broken, I was shuttered I didn’t share this with anyone throughout the funeral because most people assumed, I am a strong Christian I will respond the expected way. After the funeral nothing was the same, I was even failing to pray, like what do you even say in prayer after such an experience? I was neve the same person, that person died immediately I was told your mum has died.
If you noticed from all the stories, we share in this episode there two thing we are trying to communicate, first we want you to live our hard experiences in three paragraphs and secondly, we are trying to project one recurring theme “How do you bounce back in prayer after disappointment?” How do you even trust again after all your trust is crushed into pieces? How do you even have faith again when your whole faith is shuttered in dust? There things that break us into pieces and at least we have hope that the broken pieces can be picked again, put in order and use glue to mend them or put them back together BUT their things that break us into dust and to be honest you can’t mend dust.
Their things that happen and make you realise you are not as strong as you thought you were, they leave you so shuttered you understand why so many people have decided to live the kind of life they are living. There so many things that begin to make sense all of a sudden, there certain things that you will never, ever understand until you experience it and one of them is the brokenness that comes with the disappointment after prayer,
The distance between our expectations and reality is called disappointment and navigating through this distance is hard. While you navigate through this distance you will be hurt and you will be required to be strong, people are going to understand you the first few days that at some point they will all expect you to be better and move on, that will require you to pretend which doesn’t help but make the whole situation harder. It is not easy to bounce back in prayer after a major disappointment for some people it even become impossible to believe there is God again. Because certain people will battle the thought if God exists why didn’t he answer the eight-year-old girl prayer, isn’t he a loving and merciful king?
LEAD ME BACK
It is not easy though, I wish I could tell you how I am doing extremely better now but I can’t because I would be lying, yes, I am better than I was when I felt disappointed but I still have days where I doubt, I still have days where I am broken and even fail to say anything before God but I am grateful I am surrounded by a great community of believers who helped understand that when I hurt God hurts too because he loves me that much. We live in a broken world and brokenness will always be here. God understands this very well, that’s why his love, kindness and mercy is unconditional
He understands as we navigate through this distance between reality and expectations that it won’t be easy, this is why he is right there with us step by step. This is why he made it so clear in his word that I will never leave you nor forsake you even up to the end of the earth. Sometimes, this might feel like a lie but that’s where faith comes in, we don’t live neither by sight nor by feelings but by faith.
It’s not easy to walk by faith because our flesh moves by sight but this is where being surrounded by a right community of believers comes in. Friends who will carry you with their faith when you don’t have any, friends who God will use to LEAD YOU BACK. Perhaps you have being reading and you’ve never felt disappointed` with God you can be that friend that rallies around those that are broken and shuttered.
Yes, there situations that break us not into pieces but into dust, but dust is one of the best starting point, you can’t glue dust but God can create using dust! Dust was the ingredient that God used to create human his greatest and favorite creation of all time. You are broken into dust, embrace it, it’s a point of new beginning. Even though what’s broken is too much and you feel nothing can replace it embrace the new beginning.
HOW DO YOU BOUNCE BACK IN PRAYER THEN?
I am not anticipating disappointment when I pray and when it happens it doesn’t mean God doesn’t answer prayers instead, I must go back and talk it through with him and believe he will give me perspective. It is not blind faith but trusting faith. Mostly it is because we don’t talk it through with God that we fail to pray again. We are usually scared to be honest with God, like dead, brutally honest with him. A relationship needs honesty to thrive we must be ready to tell God how we feel even if it sounds extra to us.
There is nothing wrong with talking through with God about our disappointments. God is not scared of our emotions; he can handle how we feel and what we think. God is not scared of our questions and we don’t shock God when we tell him how we feel. Talking it through with God has really been helping. I can now tell God how I feel each day even when I don’t feel like praying because I am scared, he might not give me what I want I tell him that.
Prayer is a discipline and a discipline is something you do even in the moments you don’t feel like doing it, it is something you do but doesn’t mean you will always feel like you want to do it. When I wake up today and feel like I don’t want to pray as a discipline I will still pray and when I begin to pray, I won’t pretend as if my heart wants to, I will still engage God in what I feel so he can help me because he is the best communicator.
HAPPY EASTER HOLIDAYS, HE HAS RISEN!
Thank you very much for reading but before you go, I wanted to inform you that we now have merch for Relatable Monday available only in Zambia, if you want to purchase please contact me on my WhatsApp on +260979208425 or send me an email here. The pictures below are some of the merch currently available.
I will be sharing a special episode of Relatable Monday on the April 5th, 2021 as we continue celebrating our easter. This episode is deeply personal to me, it’s kind of different from other episodes because it will contain more than one story and not all the stories are mine but I have been a character in all of them. Spread the news, Relatable Monday family.
We have spent almost twenty two years together actually almost twenty three because you carried me for nine months and each day was great except for the last four to five days we spent together to be honest they were really traumatizing. You fought to live so hard I remember telling Precious “Mum is a fighter, I have never seen someone fight to live so much.” I am literally a product of your prayers, There is no place I have gone were your prayers have not reached before me. However, even now I am confident because I am sure you prayed for my future so I can smile into the future because your prayers are already there.
I am forever grateful to you that you introduced God to me, that is the greatest gift any one can give to someone, because God is literally my sanity, it has been taking God to remain sane the past days, mum. I love you so much, I was in university so I could give you the best life ever, but to honor your life I am now in university to make it clear that all your hard work, all your sleepless nights, all your pain, all your tears were not in vain and were worth it.
God is a very orderly God nothing happens randomly everything happens for a purpose allowed and planned by God for his children. My comfort is that God planned your life and he knew you will be called back home in 2021 because your purpose is on earth has been fulfilled. You lived, you loved, You did everything you were supposed to do and it was more than you thought it could be, the hearts you have touched will be the proof that you lived and through my life this world will see that you were here. Even though it pains that God took you from us it is comforting that you are smiling from above.
We are travelers here I know it is true and every breath we breath is coming back to you, we strangers here I know it is true and death is just a bridge that lead us home to you. God thank you. Honestly I can not wait to meet you in eternity, by the way I turned twenty two and this is the first birthday without you. I am not crying because I celebrate your life today, like wow what a way to live ! and you left me with the greatest gift my sisters. For some weird reason it ‘s like you knew you are about to go home because you put everything in order and clear the last days of your life on earth.
Trust me I have so many things to tell you this is not even a drop in an ocean compared to what I have to say but let me end with the words of Paul the apostle; to live is for Christ, which you did and to die is to gain, which you have done. Dear mum, I am so grateful to God I had an opportunity to live with you for the last almost twenty three years because you were just an Angel that was passing by and God has taken you were Angels belong, what an honor it was, that God gave us the opportunity to be so close to you.
Thank you for stopping by………
Today is my Birthday and I decided to celebrate mum’s life on it by sending an open letter to her❤. I love her so much. The last days have been hard but I am grateful for the life I spent with her it was a lifetime opportunity 😊
Annually at the end of the year we have this tradition at Elevation Church where Pastor Steven Furtick asks us to pick a word in faith that we want to describe the coming year for us, for the year 2020 I picked the word “HESED” which is the Hebrew word for Grace. The major influence for this pick was my academics: I am a medical student and my seniors informed me on how second year wasn’t an easy year in medical school.
To be honest, I was scared and uncertain about second year especially when a lot of people have too much expectations in me. I remember telling God that this coming year I need to experience your HESED like never before. In my academics this year your Grace will carry me through and second year will be my year of Grace. Anything that I will get or do in this academic year your Grace will be the main spear header. Whatever this year has in store for me HESED is the way to go.
Eventually, the year 2020 began and early January I went to school, as expected it was hard and for some weird reason it was harder than I thought, but fortunate enough God provided a great community of seniors who mentored me on how to go through second year. People like Luwi, Danny and Mwita sat me down and advised me on what books to study, what tutorial video to watch and which tutor to follow on YouTube, they even gave me almost all the information I would need to go through that academic year.
Personally, I don’t consider this lightly it is not everyone who had this opportunity and it is not every day you get surrounded by such a great community of seniors who are willing to mentor you for free before you begin your academic year in school so you don’t make the exact mistakes they made, in case you can’t notice that is HESED over there. I needed this mentorship especially for a year like 2020 when a pandemic would shift us to online learning something foreign to most of us.
To add on, God allowed me to be part of a thriving study group, I can boldly say seventy percent of the knowledge I obtained from my academics this year I obtained from my study group. I am forever grateful for that family, these people pushed me this year they helped me understand topics in two hours that I was supposed to understand in at least two days. They are the HESED I asked for before 2020 began. To some extent most of the information and examples I used in my tests and examinations it’s either I heard someone mention them in the group study or I used it when explaining.
As if it is not enough, God placed another senior in my room Elliot who was very helpful too. I would be studying and fail to understand something (which was the case most of the times) I would ask him and he would explain until I understood, he would explain to a point I would feel lazy when studying because I have a deeper understanding than the book or PowerPoint was offering.
Sometimes he would also be studying but he was still there to help. It is not every day you have such a roommate; it is not every day your roommate will be there interested in seeing you thrive. I pay attention to these things most of us tend to overlook or consider small because I believe there countless of miracles that surround us every day but because we are too focused on what we classify as big we miss these miracles and tend to believe God doesn’t work in our lives. For me HESED had intentionally placed these people in my life.
Unfortunately, the global pandemic hit and physical classes were put on hold at my university so we started learning online. I knew this was going to be a challenge for me, I am a class person I find it hard to study a topic if I have never heard a lecturer, teacher or tutor talk about it, I actually capture guidance and most of the information during classes unless otherwise but since it was my HESED year God had a plan for me.
God placed two seniors in my life who were extremely helpful; Chikwe and Emmanuel they literally taught me all of the topics I found hard to understand or even failed to study because I find it hard to study something I am not taught. I can’t appreciate these two enough because they did this for free and they helped me stay on track with my lecturers who were sending PowerPoints at the speed of light. Maybe you can call it luck or coincidence but I have come to understand that luck and coincidence are God’s ways of remaining anonymous.
However, since 2020 was the year of HESED for me I had to find a way to extend the Grace that I was experiencing to others I had to give what I was receiving. I didn’t know how I was going to do this until May when the Holy Spirit dropped the whole idea of Relatable Monday to me. I remember I was studying cardiovascular embryology and I was not understanding anything, I got frustrated, stopped studying and the Holy Spirit communicated the whole idea.
Relatable Monday is a project here on my blog where I share about struggles that I faced/face in my Christian journey, struggles I believe are rarely talked about at church or Christian circles. The Holy Spirit told me that we are all relatable in the sense that we usually experience the same struggles but because we solve them in isolation the enemy makes us believe our struggles are unique and we are the only one struggling. Relatable Monday is a community where Christians all over the globe come together and solve their problems together.
From the first episode of Relatable Monday up to 28th December when I released the 4th episode of season two countless testimonies have been coming in, the Holy Spirit has greatly ministered to people through the blog posts. People who believed they were hopeless because of Relatable Monday they found hope, people who were at the verge of giving up or quitting the whole Christian faith were revived upon reading Relatable Monday. This is God’s HESED using me to reach out to people at their point of need. God empowered people to support the project and people as far as Ukraine know about Relatable Monday for me all this is HESED.
Relatable Monday has been a way I have extended God’s Grace to other people, the HESED that I have experienced this year I have extended it to other people through Relatable Monday. I remember one of the committed viewers texted me saying: relatable Monday has reminded me of God’s love upon my life every time I read it, it has given me a deeper understanding of God’s Grace. I can move around with my head held high knowing God’s love for me is constant no matter the circumstances. This right here is people understanding God’s HESED
One thing I use to enjoy doing in high school was debating, I loved debating so much I never use to miss anything related to debate. Unfortunately, when I went to University, I found my university didn’t have an active debate society since we are a satellite university. Initially I found it hard to adjust a life without debate but because the school work was so demanding without even realizing debate was the thing of the past.
Early this year the main campus advertised they wanted one person from our campus to join them in their upcoming debate competition. They requested the people interested must send their audition videos, my friend Naomi who knew I use to debate immediately forwarded that message to my inbox asking me to audition. I was so excited about it perhaps my talent would be revived. I auditioned and I was selected to be part of their panel. We went for the competition but we lost in the finals and came out second.
To be honest, I thought that competition would revive my love for debate but it drained me, I didn’t debate like I use to debate in high school. If in high school I use to debate on the scale of 1-10, 8 at that debate I debated 5. I consciously decided to stop debating because I made myself believe the debater in me is kind of dead. In September an announcement was made that the Ministry of Health was conducting a National Debate tour and my satellite campus was invited. When I saw that message, I told myself “I am not going to participate.”
A group was formed for people who wanted to participate I never joined the group, two weeks down the line one of the active members of that group sent me a message why I wasn’t in that group or perhaps I didn’t see the invitation message, without even asking he added me to the group. When I saw that I remember telling my roommate that “even though I am added to this group I am not to participate in this competition.” I purposely went late for the first rehearsal meeting, unprepared even though I tried all this I was still asked to try out.
Long-story-short I was selected to be part of the debate panel, going to this competition I was uncertain and scared because at some point we were going to debate the main campus panel which I knew was a great panel. I remember praying before the first day of the competition asking God to show me His Grace in this competition. Shockingly, we won the competitions and the high school debater in me was revived, we went to the National fair and beat the two times National champions of that competition. Late this year we managed to form our society and I was chosen as the society’s founding President.
I initially didn’t want to participate in this competition but God through his Grace made so much good come out of this competition. I didn’t deserve it but that’s the definition of Grace; unmerited favor, something we don’t deserve. This too God showed me HESED.
Late this year our results came out and by God’s HESED I cleared my exams as I am typing this right now, I am a third-year medical student all praise to God. I annually share my testimony for the word I picked because I want you to pick your word too. Watch this year’s sermon on this by clicking here and pick a word you want to define your 2021. Words have power they are more than just a mere combination of 26 alphabetical letters they transmit energy and waves that can create or destroy